Mormon Santa expected to pull off surprise, last minute electoral shitstorm!
Colorful electronic maps don't lie, my friends. It now looks like Mormon Santa is headed toward the biggest electoral landslide in history!
Turns out my running mate, exact hermaphroditic clone and only begotten political successor, Mormon Santa II -- at only 2 1/2 months -- is quite the computer wiz! These kids today are just amazing when it comes to this stuff! (However, we still could use some help from any of you script kiddies out there who know what the Diebold hot-key combination is for "freeze-frame"...)
Throughout the final hours of this historic election, Mormon Santa and "The Best Political Team in the Celestial Heavens" will offer their canned commentary and baseless talking points -- and YOU are invited to join in on the discussion!
The Best Political Team in the Celestial Heavens...
Mrs. Mormon Santa
Mrs. Mormon Santa is the lone surviving but ailing wife of Mormon Santa, yet hardly a partisan supporter of his presidential ambitions.
Mormon Santa II
As already stated, Mormon Santa II is Mormon Santa's running mate, exact hermaphroditic clone and only begotten political successor. Mormon Santa II will call the election for Mormon Santa once the previously determined secret "nose sign" is given.
Pierre Plantard
Msr. Plantard is the late founder and current Grand Master of the infamous and shadowy Priory of Sion and a former living direct descendant of Jesus Christ. He is French (boooooo!) and is here to offer the haughty, elitist European view on the proceedings.
Joe the Undecided Pundit
Joe the Undecided Pundit (whose real name is not "Joe", nor anything else as his parents still haven't agreed on one yet) will serve up his, and possibly one day her, unvarnished and "folksy" indecisiveness throughout our coverage.
Welcome to you all.
The team and I are ready to take YOUR commentary and questions here, or over at Mormon Santa's 2008 MySpace Election Headquarters...
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