What is the most expensive thing on your Christmas wish list?
I don't make Christmas wish lists. I veto them.
What do you want this year?
Same thing I always want. To watch a three-way between Brad, Angelina, and Jen. And Asia Argento.
Which reindeer is your favorite?
The spit-roasted one I harvested with my crossbow.
Big tree or small tree?
My little angel tree-topper has never had a complaint.
Do you get a lot of presents?
YES! That new GPS you wished for? I kept it. I decorate my tree with them all.
What is your favorite Christmas movie?
Any of porn superstar Peter North's 'North Pole' series.
What is your favorite Christmas song?
'Merry Mormon Xmas'
Red, green, or white lights?
Please, only the black ones work with florescent body paints.
Any Christmas traditions?
Just digging up the rifle, cleaning it, and burying it again, but deeper.
How will you spend Christmas?
With my family, since it's their last.
Is your house decorated?
Yes! Strung with all of your iPhone 3Gs! Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Do you get all dressed up?
Well, not 'all the way'...
Favorite Christmas memory?
Relabeling all the baby Jesus' gold as 'From: Santa, To: Santa'.
When I say 'Christmas' what is the first thing that comes to mind?
Shopping -- for Christ, of course. No, those Norelco shaver commercials.
What is your Christmas wish?
Sarah Palin appears on Martha Stewart and shares a 'Spit-Roasted Reindeer' recipe. Oh, and that I can buy up a few more auto companies before this darn recession ends.
