Santa, the not a Mormon loved to spread his knees
And lift his naughty caftan and sit or stand to pee.
Jack the frosty snowman could not conceal his lust
Every time the non-Mormon went without his magic truss. ho!
Santa, the not a Mormon had a penis plus
And warmed his hands by stuffing them in his furry muff,
Santa, the not a Mormon had a penis plus
And wrapped fancy strings with bows and bling around his giant nuts.
Together they would travel in a train on greasy tracks,
Santa stoked the engine while Jack watched his wooly back.
All the queens and horsemen would run to see them come,
Pirate wenches would spare their rags when Santa needed one. ho!
Santa, the not a Mormon had a penis plus
And warmed his hands by stuffing them in his furry muff,
Santa, the not a Mormon had a penis too
And strung beads inside his dark lair with pinecones and hot glue.
A Santa lives forever but not so snow-for-balls,
Icicles and carrot sticks make way for booty calls.
One spring day it happened, frosty Jack came no more
And not-Mormon Santa, he craved a younger score.
His cheeks were red as cherries, his sleigh seat itched like hell,
Santa knew the time had come to rest ye jingle bells.
Amidst the murky puddles, with his pipe Santa laid,
He sadly drew one stiff puff, then took it in his cave. ho!
Santa, the not a Mormon had a penis plus
And warmed his hands by stuffing them in his furry muff,
Santa, the not a Mormon had a penis plus
And wrapped fancy strings with bows and bling around his giant nuts.
