Everyone knows that producing accessories for Apple's iPod music player is the most vigorous sector of the U.S. economy - or somebody's economy, for sure - and Mormon Santa has some RED HOT Mormon Santa-themed iPod concepts he wishes to share with potential investors. IMMEDIATE FUNDING is necessary to ensure these products get into stores before the all-important 2007 Xmas shopping season and the looming nuclear attack on Mexico!
- Mormon Santa's iPod "iBrows" (shown). These distinguished, shock-absorbing "iBrows" will trap and wick away wetness, such as sweat, helping to protect your iPod's sensitive electronic components during exercise or Video iPod iSex. MSRP, only $29.99!
- Mormon Santa's iPod "iGlasses" are an obvious one here, and potentially could be integrated with the iBrows if selling them separately fails to offer the best margins. Mormon Santa also would be receptive to changing his current frames to a trendier bug-eyed-alien-heiress style.
- To keep things real - and anatomically correct - Mormon Santa's iPod "iSores" would come in, yes, a $29.99 three-pack of decorative adhesive "lifestyle sores" (no, I haven't had a bad outbreak in quite awhile, thank you for asking), in two sizes, for iPod Nano and Video. These could be marketed as "an innovative theft protection solution for your iPod investment."
- Lastly, Mormon Santa's iPod "iTeeth" - heh heh, priced accordingly, of course - a cargo pant/lanyard-friendly, easily breakable crap belt-clip kind of concept.
I'm sure I'll think of more iDeas soon. Oh, I almost forgot Mormon Santa's iPod "iBrator" attachment (also shown), something sure to synergize sales of Mormon Santa's "iBrick" battery booster!
Yes, look directly into Mormon Santa's "iBalls" and fantasize, potential investors, fantasize...