are simple "Yes" or "No" questions. They are used only to help
determine the level at which you will be confined to, initially, within
the Church of Perpetual Xmastime.
Have you ever considered forming a "Blue Man" type group, but of a different color?
Have you ever eaten an entire scented candle in one sitting?
When you're on crack, do others often ask what kind of crack you're on?
Would you use the term "impressive" to describe your pornography collection?
Do you consider yourself to be a "social drinker" since you are, after all, a "member of society"?
Do you avoid flying not because of any safety concern but because you consider it "cheating"?
Without looking, can you distinguish between "YES" a new rash or "NO" a new tattoo?
Do you ever feel superior to others because yours are "authentic" aviator sunglasses?
Do you usually hear music after putting on earmuffs?
Have you ever jumped in a cab and yelled "Follow that homeless person!"?
Do you become overly emotional whenever you realize you could've had a V8?
Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Dave Matthews Band speaks to my demographic"?
Are you often overwhelmed by the breadth and variety of insole choices?
Can you touch your ears with your knees and still unsnap a hernia truss?
Have you ever used a toilet plunger for other than its intended purpose?
Does downloading beta software updates make you "feel pirate"?
Do you often wonder how many blades people of the future will use to shave?
Have you ever Googled on "visible razor burns"?
Did you really enjoy the Cuban food?
Have you ever worn a hat or novelty socks to "challenge authority"?
Do you always let your ringtone play in its entirety before you answer a phone call?
Has your UFO abduction story ever gotten you laid?
Are you easily offended by "What's with these paraphilic infantilists" comments?
Do you frequently use a hand-sanitizer as a breath-freshener?
Do you often orgasm to Yellow Page ads as a strategy to save on escort services?
Post responses here or on my MySpace profile