Construction continues on STARSLEIGH 1999 at a brisk pace! Recalculations on the number of pygmy goats required to leave Earth orbit and safely reach the Planet of Perpetual Xmastime have been made and cloning has begun utilizing STARSLEIGH 1999's own onboard lab/molecular gastronomy buffet restaurant. Deluxe Canadian van seating with extra cup holders and ashtrays is on-order for the helm. The Temptations have signed on for six performances in The Mithraeum Lounge and Supper Club (but we'll keep cloning them, too!). The interstellar navigational system is currently being upgraded to the Microsoft Vista operating system, so, pending the release of the promised service pack, our rescheduled departure remains on schedule for a launch date on or before Easter, 2012.
STARSLEIGH 1999 QUICKFACTS:
STARSLEIGH 1999 is the largest plywood and spray foam spacecraft ever almost constructed (with a record 412 elves accidentally spray foamed into the craft's interiors).
STARSLEIGH 1999 can hold over 32 full-sized "Domes of the Rock" but will only enshrine one such sacred rock itself: "The Until Recently Lost and Much-Hunted Egg of Great Visualizations and Vibrations", the three-ounce seerstone Mormon Santa passed in 1987, and now uses to spell and grammar check all his blogs.
STARSLEIGH 1999 is equipped with a 115hp 2-Stroke Evinrude outboard motor and 15,000 30-foot boat oars in case of a water landing or Katrina-like event.
STARSLEIGH 1999 contains the largest wall-to-wall prayer quilt ever made (@ 765,000 sq ft). This entirely hand-sewn patchwork prayer quilt depicts folksy, Church-approved scenes from office Holy Day parties past as well as ancient mystical symbols -- all beautifully and painstakingly petitpoint embroidered -- concealing important in-flight safety instructions.
Mormon Santa will provide a final estimate of how many total passengers can board once his pipe organ collection is installed.
As always, Mormon Santa and the Church of Perpetual Xmastime would like to say thank you for selecting us as your pathway to enlightenment and immortality. We are also pleased to inform you that TSA requirements have been relaxed recently to allow some small knives and scissors into the afterlife, but -- please! -- do handle these responsibly around the robes.
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